A different job interview

The second question of the interview was utterly ridiculous. The interviewer, who looked like an obese Mark Mitchell from The Comedy Company, leaned forward and spoke intensely.

“If you had a choice of being one of these animals, which would you be and why? a. tiger, b. elephant, c. adder or d. dog.”

Tran thought for a moment. Was this a joke? Was the interviewer telling him that there were no more jobs through this agency, or was it really a personality test. He tried not to look confused and answered with confidence.

“A. Tiger. I have the killer instinct and, and… um, speed. I am fast.”

The interviewer smiled and nodded and wrote something down.

“Ok, now there are two more multiple choice questions. If you spilt red wine on the yellow couch cushion the first time you visited the house of a date, would you: a. turn over the cushion b. admit to what you’d done but not offer to pay, but only to clean it yourself, c. admit to what you’d done and offer to pay for steam cleaning or d. leave.”

Tran wondered if this would reflect on what type of temp job they would offer him, if there were any. He knew he would probably actually do a. but kept that to himself.

“C. But I’d hope she’d say no!” Tran laughed a little. The interviewer gave a tight smile and ticked a box.

“Right, and if you could only eat one meal for the rest of your life, would it be a. lunch b. dinner or c. breakfast?”

“b. “

The interviewer looked at him for a long moment, then wrote something, shaking his head slightly.

“We’re now going to move into the last part of the interview before the typing and spelling test. I’m not afraid to tell you that so far, you haven’t really done very well.”

Tran was very confused on this as so far, the questions had made no logical sense, so how could he be doing badly?

“But, I am confident that you are an intelligent young man and that we will see this come through in the next section. Are you ready?”

“I’ll give it a go.”

“That’s the spirit! Right. You are in a jungle. A helicopter has dropped you and you have one day’s supplies. You have a badly bruised buttock and…”

Tran stood and left the room, muttering, “This is ridiculous.”

The interviewer watched him leave, then wrote on his sheet “Suitable for data entry and inbound call enquiry. No sales.”


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