Meditation

‘Just lie there, focus on your breathing. Relax. Clear your mind.’

Clear your mind. Right. I’m going to clear my. My mind is clear as. Clear as a bell. What the hell does that mean.  Clear as a bell? Aren’t bells, like, gold? Like, metal? That’s not clear. Maybe it means the sound from a bell. Is that clear? I’d say loud, maybe. Or resonant. But clear? Wait, my mind’s supposed to be clear. Focus on my breathing. Ok. In. Out. In. Out.                         What am I going to have for dinner? There’s that chicken in the fridge, but it’s been there for four days and I don’t think it should be used after four days should it? I reckon it’s probably off by now, and got that yucky chicken juice. I could get some more chicken on the way home. The front entrance will probably be shut. I can use the back door. But if it’s still raining, I’ll get drenched. Still, a hot shower will make that feel better. Hmmm, hot shower. That’s relaxing. Then I’m going to watch the end of the Sopranos. No, I should read. Reading is more intellectual; it’s better for me. But that book is so crap. I could read a different book.                                     I wonder if Jane texted about tomorrow. I could do with a coffee and a gossip. I haven’t heard any gossip for ages. What time is it? What? I cannot believe how slow time is going. Does time go faster if you are focusing on your breathing? Focus. In. Out. In. Out. My foot’s gone to sleep. Can I move it? Am I allowed to? Of course I can, what are they going to do, yell at me? That’s not very relaxing, now, is it?  I bet Charlotte’s more relaxed than me. I want a coffee now. If I suggest a coffee after this, I bet she’ll say something like ‘Oooh, a coffee? That would ruin all the relaxing I’ve done. I’ll just have a chamomile/cranberry delight. Caffeine free!’ I’ll get a coffee on my own.  In. Out. In. Out. Time? Argh, it has to have been more than eight minutes. How will I get through the hour? I know. I’ll write a book. In my head. Once upon a time there was a… what was there? An animal of some kind? What sort of book is this anyhow? No, right. I am going to focus on relaxing. In. Out. In. Bloody out. How can I relax when breathing makes me so damned angry!